Member-only story
Everyday Depression
At least that’s what I told myself.
I’ve spent my life doing a couple of things that dramatically affected others and me
The night I decided to stop playing semi-pro football, the Doctor said, “You have two choices, you can continue to play football, and after one more play or ten more, you’ll never walk again. Or, you can quit now and be relatively assured that you’ll still be walking into retirement.” I was twenty-five years old.
I chose to walk. Today, I’m seventy-five years old.
I didn’t realize that something else was getting worse, my anger. Here’s how it showed up.
If something happened to me that was good; I was happy, euphorically happy. Some would say over the moon. Fortunately, I was above average at accomplishing good things, like finding a wife, getting married, and succeeding at my military and sales work. When I left the military, I started selling full-time. Every sale made meant I was happy. Every sale or opportunity lost meant I was sad.
Happy or Sad, they are two sides of the same coin. For my family, it meant that they never knew what would happen. Was I going to be happy and grant their wishes and praise them, or would I be sad and withdrawn and pull away from those who loved me?
